New York, New York

I've spent this week in New York working on other projects that look set to span the next 18 months. It has been a mad week. It becomes increasingly obvious that I must finish "Rosie" off in order to concentrate on the other things in hand. Yesterday I went for lunch with Gary Hoctor and Richard LaGravenese and discussed the nature of our work, and it served to reinforce exactly why I love filmmaking. To watch Gary and Richard speak so passionately about French cinema and so dismissively about the meat-market of festivals gave me a great sense of perspective. WE DO THIS BECAUSE WE LOVE STORIES... NOT BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE FILMMAKERS. The challenge it seems, is satisfying ourselves as creative people and a need to survive in a material world. It reminds me of Scorcese's point in his BFI American Cinema documentary, where some filmmakers tried to "do one for the studio" and one for yourself.

Despite the energy of Berlin and New York, I'm looking forward to going home and seeing Birmingham again!!!

Last filming date

Such is the pressure upon Eeva's time, we look to have a very small window to film the last parts of the film. It has been a busy year for all concerned and a difficult one to fit the filming around. I think, with all things considered, this has been a particular downside. Whilst John and I have discussed the fact that the distance in time suits the 'flashback' sequences, it has always been a problem for focussing my attention. Still - this is what the project has been about - a learning curve. I have never shot a film this way before, I will always bare this experience in mind when preparing another project.

More reflections post-Berlin

I have just returned from a week in Berlin where I was with Fremantle and their various soap operas discussing the uncertain future that lies ahead for television. I was constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to work autonomously from these pressures. It was lovely to meet inspirational people like Neil McCarthy and discuss our projects.

One thing that dawned on me whilst in these meetings, and whilst touring the UFA studios, is that it is the soap operas' limitations that inform the production. In a bizarre way, I feel that Rosie has been without limitation (dialogue aside) and I wonder whether it is this freedom to take the project where ever I choose that has sometimes left me rudderless and without focus. I certainly feel a lot more 'connected' to my other projects, as if I am responding to a higher creative purpose. With Rosie I have felt as if I don't know what it is I am making, and that scares me in a way, but liberates me in other ways.

I discussed with John Bradburn the idea of simply editing the piece together without the structure of which I scripted it. It would be fascinating to see how the whole piece would come together in this way as opposed to 'forcing' it from my previous plans.

I'll get the final scenes shot in early June and we'll take it from there...

More filming

Today we shot more footage in and around Birmingham. I am happy that we have now fulfilled most of the project, but with a little more to pick up in June. The sporadic dates have meant the film has different seasons and haircuts etc... it really benefits from the time difference.

I find myself panicking about length (no puns please). I spoke to John about it today. Why am I worried about this nature of shooting a 'feature' film? 75 minutes or above please. It is a bizarre formality. You end in a halfway house if it isn't a short film or a feature. But why do I care? The chances of these things moving forward are that they should be a feature or they won't get seen in festivals. But I'm not sure I want to go down that route as I mentioned earlier. So it will just be a story. It may be a 40 minute story. It may be a two hour story. Let's not worry about the length.

Both John and I are just happy to be experimenting in our field. We are so often held up in development limbo waiting for projects to get started. Or on shoots and waiting around with the rigamarole of big crews. This is all about the fun and enjoyment of filmmaking. It is about exciting ourselves and remembering why we do this in the first place - telling stories with moving image. We are pigs in shit...